Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Please don't give away my fajitas
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
