Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
