I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Congratulations! We have a period
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