just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
