Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
