When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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