it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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