It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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