is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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