i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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