Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize