he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
my being single is dangerous.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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