You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
