It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
