walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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