I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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