And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
