How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
