Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Randomize
