ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
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You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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