I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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