don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
