It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
