So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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