I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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