he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I intend to get homeless drunk
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
