did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
