my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
