dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize