I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize