I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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