Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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