she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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