oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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