Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
