but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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