Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
