If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Randomize
