You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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