This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
