he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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