i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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