just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
