i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
