If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
