Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
