I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
