He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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