Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
