3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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