Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
