The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
