I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
