Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
So many bounce houses so little time
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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