I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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