Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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