You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
