Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
