I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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