I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
