They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I smell like Dick and happiness
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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