dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
